Who is Carli?

Hey, it's me, I am Carli it's me!

Ok really though allow me to give you a small run down.

I am from a smaller town in Idaho. I was born and raised here although my whole family really originates from the east coast. I love learning about my family tree so be prepared for fun family tree info dumps.

I grew up doing ballet for the most part, but dabbled in soccer, gymnastics, tennis, among other things. I switched to cheer my sophomore year of high school. That was the best and worst choice I have ever made. A story for a different day :)

I went to one semester of college when I was 18, I did not think I was smart because I was not successful in this venture. Really, I just did not know how to function in college, ie. showing up listening to lectures and showing up for exams like I did in high school expecting that to work for me.

I then sat mom and dad down and said I wanted to move to a bigger city in Idaho and become a model. My cousin's cousin was a model in denver and I figured if she could do it i would be able to as well. They were ok with me stopping college although that conversation made me want to throw up since we were always told "you're going to college". Later on mom asked if I had ever thought of going to hair school and I told her no. Again, we were told you are not going to hair school. I think they just wanted us to not do it just to "do something" but really if we wanted to we could. So, I scheduled an appointment to tour the school and see what it was about. I was excited about the idea and I always loved doing my own hair and anything to do with beauty. I was scared because I never thought it could be a possibility so I felt behind. Like I didn't have time to prepare my mind for what it would be like or how school would go or have an idea of what it would be like to do hair so i was panicking. HOW WILL I BE ABLE TO CUT HAIR?!

last day of hair school

Look, I do not know why I need to visualize what ever I am doing before I do it and anticipate what it would be like to actually do the thing but that's how my brain works. I never pictured myself cutting hair so how will I be able to learn how to do it? It never occured to me that they will teach you and most likely everyone in class has no clue where to start with it either. I have always needed to have some sort of run down in my head before I do or learn something. It happens so fast without my realization that it is going on now that it probably just looks like I am just good at stuff. I think it is a trauma response. I digress.

So, fast forward I graduate hair school, work at the school for sometime. I opened my own booth in a rent salon and it only took me 4 months to realize I still want to be a nurse and I need to go back to school.

I had been feeling like I am not good at doing hair and I hate having people's vanity in my hands for some time. Really I was just still new and it would take further guidance to get better. I had a nurse come sit in my chair after work one day and that was part of why I was really starting to feel this boiling need to pursue my dreams.

Shortly after going back to college, and killing it thanks to hair school who taught me how to learn, I began my healing journey.

I have always been intrigued by human behaviour, I never understood it. I just loved people and didn't understand why there had to be so many nuances to interacting with other humans and just minding your own damn business. Obviously my opinion on that is more complicated but I was starting to be in more and more situations that invited me to explore this way of thinking.

It is funny how if you are having a spiritual awakening, healing your internal world just happens as well. You can't have one without the other! If you think you are going on a spiritual journey but refuse to look inward just know you're on a dangerous path and remember that what you put out comes back times 3. So unless you are a master at protecting yourself I would not be surprised if life looks quite shit right now. You have the power to turn it around but that is a topic for another day. That's also a very general way of putting all of it since it is quite nuanced, don't come for me!

It began with meditating, exploring why I thought about myself the way I did. I was friends with a lot of people who practiced witchcraft so I dove in to learn more about it. I don't identify as one but I do hold similar beliefs. It was so fun to learn about how magical the earth is and why I just loved everyone and everything and wanted joy and peace. I eventually go to a point that I went back to therapy to really do deep work.

I LOVE the path that spirituality has taken me on. I love how it makes simple things so beautiful like feeling the energy of trees when you hug them. the way that food is medicine. Learning about why our ancestors did certain things or used certain plants and specific times. Healing my inner child and doing shadow work!

Me showing up authentically for little Carli

I went through therapy as I went through nursing school. I got in on my first try and at the time it was still way competitive so I was proud. I found out at the same time I have ADHD and some unresolved issues as well.

I did some major inner work and graduated school. I was feeling so blessed and so high vibrationally. I continued learning about nature and spirituality and inviting bliss into my life.

My bestie and I done did a gradumacation

Then I got a job as a nurse.

It didn't crash and burn all at once it took time, but slowly I lost all the work I did.

I stopped meditating. I stopped feeling gratitude, I was so tired all the time and was getting chronically sick. I gained so much weight, I was constantly looking for material pacifiers. I was just surviving.

The details of my job do play a huge roll as to why things got this way. I worked in an operating room. I arrived when it was dark and left when it was dark. It is winter here for 9 months of the year so days off I didn't get vitamin d either. It was such a fast paced machine the only way to survive was to become jaded to the fact that my patients have feelings that I could help them process before hand.

This was actually something that in the beginning I spent a lot of time with since I didn't know how to set up the room yet, I would let my preceptor do that while I spoke with the patients about what to expect and how I would be there for them. I walked people through guided meditations as they went to sleep and I loved my job.

Then I was left to my own OR room. I wanted to prove that I was a good nurse even though I just graduated. I wanted to impress my management and feel valued. (Spoiler alert that never did happen.) I had good work ethic and when I did get the hang of things I had a daily ritual that worked. I showed up an hour early to set up my room for the next 13 hours. I got every kind of bed modification I would need, machines, medications, prepped lab paperwork, organized imaging... That way when shit did hit the fan and my tech forgot something or the room was running behind, or the patient was bleeding, I could be there fully and it was never my fault if something was late.

My hospital was also very team oriented there were "teams" that only particular doctors would work with. It was valued so much that I was sure that I needed to get on to further feel validated as a good nurse. Unfortunately something that I didn't allow to get into my head was that the teams are for only like 7 of the surgeons and the people who have worked with them for 10+ years. Even if surgeons requested techs or nurses to be in their rooms it typically wouldn't happen even if they threw a fit, if they had less block time. It is a physician owned hospital so we catered to their whims.

Without going into too much detail, that was the gist of that work environment. I overstayed my welcome thinking something would change something will get better and I will get the validation I am seeking. No. It never happened even after I left. When I left I was making $7 less than new grad nurses at the hospital across the way. I was making the same amount as a Panda Express manager, with loads more responsibility, and a year degree in my belt.

When I finally did leave, I felt like me again. Slowly. I lost sooooo much weight. I could let myself rest. I was present. I went to family functions and enjoyed visiting with them not just showing my face to check a box saying that I did. I began rediscovering myself and what I like and what makes me feel ignited. I got a hold of my thyroid issues and began feeling more centered.

I was feeling blissed out! And very fit.

The irony is that I then got a job as a medical sales rep. I was going back to that hospital, and many others to help with the surgeries. It was an amazing experience I wouldn't change for the world. I loved to travel around meet new people, see how other places worked. It was crazy to go back to my hospital and get to leave when my case was done. It was wild to go back and people said I was glowing differently. It was validating that I clearly made the right choice.

Down the road that job began to feel like the old one. I worked long hours some days. Other days I would work a few hours but it would be 7 days a week either way. I would eventually be on call for trauma cases and I suddenly saw my life outside of work slip away again. I started seeing my husband less and less and my house and life got messier and messier. This job did have opportunity for insane financial success. It was such a hard decision to make. I felt guilty about choosing my life/husband/ balance over how much I was even being offered to stay at the job. I felt like I owed it to my husband to make close to what he was making so he could feel like he could let go more. I felt guilty about the time and resources I took from the rep and company I was working for. I had to look at my life long term though. If I only do get one chance, when I am 80 years old I do not want to regret staying in a place that is not serving my highest good.

So. Here we are I have fully settled into my role as a nurse coach. I am the version of what I thought a nurse would be when I was 8 years old. I always pictured myself being so good at the hands on skills part of nursing with massive knowledge but still making my patients feel loved and cared for. I saw myself teaching them how to heal from whatever brought them to the hospital in the first place. Learning about them and hearing what they had to say.

Todays health care system is far to focused on profits for the highest top of the chain. They have lost sight of the reason a hospital or health clinic even exists. The PEOPLE they serve. Even if a nurse or doctor or administrator does care about the wellbeing of patients... The systems set up we must follow do not leave room to show that or fully honor those things. We have quotas to meet insurance to answer to and things to bill for.

Nurse coaching takes the power back. It gives it to the patients, to our clients. We prevent disease, we educate, listen, and show up for our clients and their wellbeing. We know that humans are inherently healthy and joyful and we walk you back to that path. We don't tell you what to do. We know that you know what works best for you. YOU KNOW what will be successful for you. We just help guide you there when misinformation arises or need for support and help.

I couldn't be more honored to be a nurse health and wellness coach. I am honored that the universe is laying the bricks beneath my feet and allowing me to use my intuition. I have gratitude that I feel aligned with what I feel like I was put on this earth to do. I can't wait to sit with you. To FULLY show up for you in your life where you are now. To get to know the real you and just listen. I can't wait to be present with you on this journey and help you reach your destination or at least launch you in the right direction. I am here to serve your highest good. I am so incredibly honored to be able to do that for you.